Rant Rant Rant

My friend Nick died on Tuesday. He hadn't been using, and used alone, and his mum found him late that afternoon. He was her only child. I've been close to him two times in my life, in 1991, in Nedlands, and in 2000 in Shenton Park. We took drugs together, first smoking dope, then moving up the ladder in parallel like we all did in Perth. The hell that Perth is. He was a big boy, smart as a whip, and funny in a gruff way. He was in my brother's year and their crew was tight as tight can be. Max had 4 groomsmen to make sure no-one would feel left out, and 2 best men. That was the last time I saw Nick, at Max's wedding last year. He had a beard, and was big, and working in the Art Department on films, or a series, I can't remember. Making props and finding them in op-shops and so on. I think. He was happy. He told a funny story about being pulled over and the cop being too busy or bored to take his details, so being asked to go to the police station later to follow up his own conviction. Nick did try, he really did!
I remember him sitting on the verandah at the block in Walpole, with the long grass hill rolling down towards the river, with a science fiction or fantasy book propped on the dirty broad arm of the busted-ass armchair with the built-in ashtray, and telling that story.
I think maybe when we first met he was a little bit in love with me. Later, when we used gear together I think he stopped. I think we got untrusting of each other and probably we ripped each other off. It didnt matter. Last time I saw him we were friends, I was almost envious of his easing into films when I'm still trying.
His funeral is on Tuesday and I can't afford to go, I haven't really even considered it. It'd be $500, at the least, and time off work would double that. I think I'll have a wake for him here.
It feels so stupid and so sad that there is no Nick in Perth now.
I don't have his number in my phone.
He won't be there when I go home. I'll miss him. He was a lovely man.

posted by Annie B @ 12:59 PM